By Amalia Reyes
The opening scene of the Wachowski brother’s newest film, Speed Racer, leaves the viewer wondering whether somebody might have slipped shrooms intotheir coke. The insane splash of color was endearing at first, but, like anything extreme, it quickly becomes too much. The producers seemed to have tried to make real life as close to the animated version as possible. The phosphorescent colors cause a reaction that burn the eyes and kill the brain.
Speed Racer is a young man whose life goal is to win The Crucible, a cross-country race which previously took his brother’s life. His parents, with the unoriginal names Mom and Pops Racer, make race cars for a living (surprise), and all throughout his childhood, all Speed can think of is racing and winning. When his grades begin to fall, his parents don’t care enough to do much of anything, continuously shrugging in defeat instead of sitting their kid down and talking with him.
Once Speed rejects a generous offer to race for Royalton Industries, he predictably reveals at they are cheating and fixing races to gain money. Royalton tries its best to make sure that Speed does not win a race, but he enters the Crucible anyway, setting out to rescue the family business and honor.
The plot is so paperthin and repetitive that the film relies on overdone effects. The cars perform ridiculous stunts that the producers dubbed ‘car-fu,’ and the racetracks defy any possible logic, contorting themselves into ridiculous shapes and foreshadowing insane crashes. Speed’s rival, the not-so-mysterious Racer-X, sports the worst costume since The Riddler’s question-mark littered green pajamas.
The dry plot,excessive flashing lights, changing camera angles and effects make for a movie that that only small children can enjoy. The Matrix it is not.
